Through the months, or sometimes years, of struggling to conceive, you’re likely to hear unsolicited advice from friends and family who are in the know about your fertility challenges. While well-intended, their words may come across as unhelpful, irritating, or even hurtful.
Despite infertility being talked about more openly, it is often misunderstood by those who haven’t experienced it firsthand. Therefore, bad advice persists. Here are some of the worst pieces of advice on infertility that we’ve heard.
“Try not to think about it.”
Your friend or family member might have the best intentions, but their advice may come off as dismissive or downplaying your feelings. Other similar sentiments include:
- “Just relax. It will happen.”
- “Try getting drunk first!”
- “It’s just not your time yet.”
Unfortunately, these comments can make you feel more anxious or that you’re doing something wrong. But remember, infertility is a disease affecting 1 in 8 U.S. couples. Even if you’re relaxed, healthy and doing everything right, you can still experience infertility.
“Have you thought about IVF?”
It might be surprising to hear that in vitro fertilization, or IVF, while possibly the fertility treatment most have heard of, isn’t always needed for someone who is having trouble conceiving.
Many people can get pregnant using other fertility treatments, such as oral or injectable meds or intrauterine insemination (IUI). And if you have a condition that affects fertility such as endometriosis or polycystic ovary disease (PCOS), there are treatment options that can help prepare your body for pregnancy without needing IVF.
Besides, not everyone can or wants to do IVF the same as not every fertility treatment will be right or work for everyone.
“You should take [insert wonder supplement].”
There are some great supplements out there, and some are known to play a role in boosting your fertility such as CoQ10 and omega-3 fatty acids.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a single supplement that will magically get you pregnant. And what worked for someone else doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you.
“Why don’t you just adopt?”
The topic of adoption often comes up frequently when couples are faced with infertility. Choosing fertility treatments or adoption is a personal choice and families have different reasons for the routes they choose. Both are legitimate ways to build a family, and both have emotional and financial implications. You should never feel guilty about wanting the desire to have a biological child.
You’ll likely receive unhelpful advice at one point or another during your fertility journey. You can decide to take the opportunity to educate others on fertility, have a good comeback ready, or simply say nothing at all. What can help you is talking it out, either with your trusted support system or a therapist who specializes in infertility.
If you’ve been struggling to conceive, give us a call today to make an appointment with a CCRM Fertility specialist.
