Megan and Rik, patients at CCRM Fertility of Boston, found success with IVF after multiple miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, and a genetic diagnosis. Their journey to baby #2 continues.
What fertility treatments did you pursue?
We went straight to IVF with our own egg/sperm.
What was your fertility diagnosis?
A bit of a mix. Unexplained infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, male factor. During our treatments for a second child, I have also had Asherman’s syndrome with recurrence.
When did you start your journey?
We had our first visit to CCRM with Dr. Alison Zimon in June of 2020 for our first child after having several early miscarriages over the years and finding out I was a carrier for Fragile X Syndrome.
How did you discover you had infertility?
We had some suspicion on our own after our losses and long durations of time in between pregnancy. In February of 2020 I did a carrier screening through my Gyn and that is when we learned about my Fragile X carrier status. Between finding that out and our first visit, I had had another early miscarriage followed by an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in me losing my left fallopian tube.
What brought you to CCRM?
When we found out I was a carrier for Fragile X, a genetic counselor recommended we consider IVF. Not knowing much, we didn’t realize how much of our history also already checked off IVF boxes.
What gave you hope throughout the process?
We did three intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) and one round of in vitro fertilization (IVF).
It is hard to find hope in the moments when you’re deep in treatment, especially when others around you are pregnant or already having their second or third child. I think what kept me going was knowing the end result would be worth it and connecting with others who have been there.
What was your treatment experience like? The highs? The lows?
During our first round of IVF in 2020, I remember being so overwhelmed with what I did not know. I had no clue so much went into a cycle. Balancing appointments and meds while working full time, all while mentally exhausted from infertility was challenging. When we had no embryos at the end of our first round, I remember that immediate feeling of defeat and heart break. I knew it could happen but did not actually think it would. Going into our second round of IVF, I look back and remember how supportive and comforting the infertility community was. In the fall of 2023 when we returned for a second child, we felt so hopeful since it worked the first time before that. After having a failed transfer with a PGT-A tested embryo, followed by miscarrying a PGT-A tested embryo, I was frustrated that I was losing hope in a process and science that I felt so grateful for, one that gave us our son already. That was the lowest I had felt during this, especially after other details came to light and then finding out I had Asherman’s syndrome, and then recurrence of it – all preventing another transfer.
Was there anything that surprised you on your journey?
I was surprised at my resilience and that even though it felt and still feels like nothing can just quite go right, I just kept going. On to the next round, on to the next transfer. I also never could have imagined the life long friends I’ve made within the infertility community.
What helped you along the way?
Support from others going through or having been through this. You can have the best support system within your friends and family but infertility and IVF really is one of those things in life where you have to unfortunately live it to get it.
What advice would you give to others on their journey?
Release your expectations and timeline. While it sounds harsh, infertility and its treatments has a funny way of humbling you. Ask all the questions, join the support groups or follow others on social media who have been there, or going through it. We’re full of knowledge we never knew we would have! Find something once a week to do for yourself during treatments or waiting periods, it is incredibly easy to let this consume you. You are allowed to feel everything you’re feeling, infertility is an emotional rollercoaster, on fire, with spiders – I guarantee you what you’re feeling is very valid.
Tell us about your little one!
We’re so incredibly lucky to have our now four year old, Luka. He was our first embryo transfer in June of 2021 after 2 rounds of IVF. Luka is so smart, kind and loves animals – land, sea, sky and prehistoric! While he is our only child right now, we have been trying to give him a sibling for a couple years now. We’re hoping a 3rd transfer for baby no.2 this spring will give him that big brother title.
Anything else you’d like to add?
I hope anyone in the depths of infertility right now knows, that while the unknown seems scary and confusing, there is normalcy after this but it is okay to still feel some bitterness towards the cards dealt to you. It is okay to say no to plans, to skip that baby shower, to block that girl from high school posting weekly bump pictures even though you’re actually so happy for her. Infertility is full of emotions you never knew existed and it is important to feel them and know you have thousands of fellow infertility warriors ready to validate them for you.
