To have a baby or not have a baby. At the age of twenty-seven, after three years of marriage, we decided to try. We failed. We traveled, we tried, we failed. Our friends had babies rekindling our hope, we tried, we failed. We used every tracking device on the market, we tried, we failed. Our friends were on their second babies, we tried, we failed. Praying, acupuncture, yoga, teas, special diets, failed, failed, failed, failed. Relax and just let things happen naturally as everyone cleverly suggested, I gave up, we still failed. We went to the clinical side using Clomid, we tried, we failed. Doctors suggested an IUI, we tried, we failed multiple rounds. Our friends slowly stopped inviting us to baby showers, children’s birthday parties, and shut us out of that part of their lives assuming it was too painful for us. We failed and we were left out.
Finally, we explored the option of in vitro fertilization (IVF). We knew it was expensive, not covered by insurance, and we could only afford one shot at it. Cashing in my “last chance card” terrified me to the point of almost not trying. What if this also failed? After many recommendations, we turned to CCRM. From the first information session, I felt hopeful. Leaving my first testing appointment I felt powerful. For the first time CCRM allowed me to feel as though I was actually taking productive steps against our infertility. We could do this. They educated me about my journey, and allowed me to feel like a participant in my treatment. I finally felt like I wasn’t in this alone, with a supportive team on my side cheering me on.
We started out first round of stimming – it failed. Only making two follicles when I had so much more potential, I felt like my body simply was not capable. We tried again and prayed, and then by some miracle, our follicle stimulation worked. Half our battle was over. Now our follicles had to have eggs inside, survive fertilization, grow into embryos, last five days, pass genetic testing, be transferred into my body, and result in a positive pregnancy test.
After priming my body by use of countless injections, we were ready for our embryo transfer. Transfer day felt surreal, and I couldn’t believe after months of testing, medications, waiting, and fear, we finally arrived to this moment. Five days later, CCRM called with our blood test results confirming we were pregnant. Finally, we succeeded.
As we snuggle our beautiful, blue-eyed boy I now realize each previous attempt should not be considered a failure. Each failure was just waiting for the right time to bring this little baby into our lives. The path was challenging, there were days where I thought I couldn’t possibly give myself one more injection after I’ve already been poked five times that day. I was scared and doubted myself. But it worked, and we now know a love we never knew possible.
– CCRM Patient, Lauren L.